Bleeding Heart


Why do we cry? Why do we get hurt? Why there are times that we feel pain when we love? We choose love not pain. If we have arguments with our partner we can’t help but to cry. Cry many times. If we are in love we experience happiness and we feel so special. I am not hurt or in pain. I don’t know but sometimes I am affected but others feeling. If I listen to a music that is sad I can feel the pain of the person who wrote it.

I was hurt and in pain before I told Nigel about it but he doesn’t have any reaction. I have an ex that I love so much and I am in an LDR. He is just here in the Philippines. We are friends and suddenly became lovers. When I transferred here in Manila, I met him and yes he is nice and a gentleman. We dated for quite sometimes. The first months was fine and lots of love but we encountered problems and arguments. We have the same friends and I thought it’s great but it’s not its worse. I thought they were supportive but not especially with my relationship with him. This guy is a play boy and I know that. Well, I am stupid I love him. I don’t care about it.

I tried to be patient with my relationship with him then one day we had a big fight, big argument. I won’t be too detailed about it but I was terrified and we were in the point that he will broke up with me. The reason was so shallow and we could have talked about it. He was so angry and he won’t talk to me. Days had past but still no sign from him. No messages. No calls. I was so hurt and I couldn’t stand the pain. I stayed at my room the whole day and didn’t eat at all. I am I in the peak of my sadness so what I did. I took four pills and I wanted to end my life. My mom was calling but I won’t answer the phone. I felt so useless. I cried and I answered my mom. My mom was crying and telling me why did I do it. She told me to be strong and he is not the only guy on earth. There are more guys better than him.

That hit me hard. Flash backs. My mom was right. I don’t need to end my life because of a guy. There are more people that love me. I feel sorry to myself for being stupid. For loving a guy that was not worth it. From that day on I was sure that I won’t love Filipino guys anymore. My past relationship was worse and I don’t want to be like that again. Lesson learned.

I am happy that I met someone that is really worth it. It is true that we will undergo or experience so much pain until we realize that we need to let go of that person. Life is boring if there’s no pain. After the pain I didn’t stop loving but I need to be careful. I am stronger now when it comes to relationship and I promise not to give my 100 percent. Be strong and still be in love.


“It takes a strong heart to love but it takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it’s been hurt.”


10 thoughts on “Bleeding Heart

  1. Joana says:

    How sad that, there are times we need to say goodbye to some we used to love however, life must go on surround yourself with your friends and love ones who love you the most. It is not the end of days, you have to be strong and courageous to face those loneliness and sadness.. It is not his or her lost.. There is the right person for you.. Just wait and Lola ni Dora says: “Darating din sa tamang panahon!”. hahahaah

    Liked by 1 person

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