Relationship : I’m in CONTROL

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When it comes to love and relationship some people are controlling the relationships so much that it can be hard to recognize them for what they are. There are some romantic movies and novels that are telling us that real relationships are all about obsession and that people who are truly in love have no boundaries or separate lives. Being manipulative or controlling the relationship aren’t real and true love. There are times that we thought having an abusive relationship is the only thing that matters but you don’t feel that being manipulative and controlling is a sign of unhealthy relationship.Most cases, it’s all about control and taking away your independence or freedom. Being controlled by your partner can damage to your self-esteem, make you fearful and having doubts about entering future relationships, and leave us emotional wounds that we shouldn’t have to deal with.

But there are plenty of relationships that are more one sided. A controlling man may be overprotective and to the point of unreasonable jealously or try keep a tight power with finances and be constantly telling his partner the right way to do things without ever really listening to their ideas. Early of the relationship both of you have the power or balance each others ideas. There are turning points that you won’t believe that your partner is already controlling you. How can you know that your partner is manipulative and controlling?

  • Disengage you from your family and friends – They don’t like your best friend and don’t think you should hang out with her anymore or they don’t want you to chit chat around with your family. They will try to turn you against anyone that you’re used to rely on for support. Their goal is to remove you off on your support network as well as your strength so that you will be less likely to stand up against them.

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  • Makes you feel guilty all the time – They are very skilled when it comes to this part. Your partner will let you feel the guilt whenever or whatever you are going to do with or without them. Your partner makes negative comments about your friends until you start to believe that the criticisms are true. Your partner will be a snob every time you go out with your friends, until you start not to accept their dinner invitations just to stop yourself from stress.

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  • Criticize you a lot of times – Some partners think it’s not such a big deal that he or she doesn’t like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn’t take it personally. They may consistently critique your decisions at work , the way you spend money , or your interests and hobbies in a way that sounds less like criticism.If every little thing you do could use improvement in your partner’s eyes, then how are you being valued as a true equal person?

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  • They don’t know the word TRUST – People who are deeply in love are allowed to have some privacy. And a partner who doesn’t  to acknowledge this isn’t being romantic at all. Your partner doesn’t have the right to check your email or messages, or have access to any of your  social media passwords, just because they say they’re scared that you might cheat, or because they will say that people who are in love don’t have secrets.  It’s a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and this shouldn’t be present within your relationship.

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  • Don’t want to hear your side – You are always interrupted in every conversations, or opinions you express have been  forgotten or never been acknowledged in the first place. Perhaps the conversation is always so ruled over by your partner that you can’t remember the last time they asked you a meaningful question about how you were doing and actually listened to your answer.

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  • Making you feel unworthy  – They are making you feel less attractive than they are. Even they try comparing you to their exes and sometimes their accomplishments when it comes to work, controlling people often want you to feel thankful that you are in a relationship with them. You will be more willing to work harder and harder to keep and to satisfy them. This is the goal of someone who wants to dominate a relationship.

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Not only me, it can be you but all of us can fall into a controlling relationship. Don’t feel stupid about it and don’t blame yourself for being with them. Controlling relationships sneak up on us, and we can’t see them for what they are until we’re with them and we know them truly. Always remember that if you are feeling that it’s wrong in the relationship you need to let it go and just be more positive with the next one.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.”

– Darlene Ouimet

” A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends. your dreams or dignity.”

– Mandy Hale

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Let It Pass By

I saw you from a far
and you can’t hide that scar
I know it’s killing you inside
When you and I can’t collide
I feel your pain
and all those chains
Stopping you to tell
All the stories that I wish I knew..

Sorry if I’d hurt you
Forgave me if I didn’t mind you
I just passed by you
And I can’t help you and it hurts me,too
You came up to me
And I ignored you
I guess I was too afraid…

Too afraid of what might had happen
I am  just protecting you
Coz I know they will hurt you
Someday you will know why?
But for now, please let it pass by…

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Long Distance Relationship Will It Lasts?

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This modern world, many people are trying online-dating and many couples find themselves in long-distance relationships. But do they last? Being together with your partner is believed to help and maintain romantic relationships by giving people a chance to understand each other, and yet, some long distance relationships tend to last. Researchers suggest that one reason long distance relationships last is because they are likely to have the idea of having a romantic relationship with their partner or the tendency to describe their relationship in unrealistically positive terms.

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Couples that are in long distance relationships tend to look back about their relationship in a more positive way. Being positive in the relationship can lead them to believe they have a lot more in common, regardless of whether or not they really do. Partners in long distance relationship have the advantage of always showing most positive way possible in maintaining the idea of the relationship. In other words, people in long distance relationships rarely see all the daily ups and downs of their partner’s mood and attitude.

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There are times that when they close the distance there are some couples break up because they already know their partners personality. Distance can prevent partners from learning about each others negative qualities thus only creating an overly positive impression. The relationship may be happy and stable they are not together but in reality can become quite disappointing once back together.

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How can you make your long distance relationship last long? Some couples said that long distance relationship can last long by increasing the amount of communication. And this modern world, there are plenty of ways to increase it. Social media sites, messenger, text messaging, phone calls, and emails can supplement face-to-face communication. Others said that TRUST is also important in this relationship. Don’t give 100% you need to  And BEING COMMITTED is one of the reasons,too. Even though your partner is miles apart you are committed to your partner and you are not allowed to look for another partner because the reason is you miss your partner.

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GOOD COMMUNICATION with your partner is one of the key so your long distance relationship will last. Make sure to talk about everything, just as if you see your partner every day. When you are unable to close the distance yet, you and your partner need to develop other more creative and unique ways to become intimate with each other. Partners that take active and strive to get know each other will have a more realistic idea of their relationship, and will make their Long Distance Relationships Last.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”

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In a Relationship : Foreigner Boyfriend

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I am in a relationship and I am PROUD of it. My boyfriend is a foreigner and he is English. It’s just that there people who will judge why do you like foreigners. I know that there are people that can relate to me but there are some that feels envious about the relationship. I do feel bad whenever I hear people murmuring or gazing at us (especially me )  whenever we pass by them. I’ve experienced that when he was here for a vacation ( his first visit ). I know that you can’t stop other people from criticizing the relationship.

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Before I prefer to have a Filipino boyfriend because I know that there will be spark between us. After experiencing the heartbreaks I promise myself not to have another Filipino boyfriend. I don’t judge all of them but after the same reasons of having my heartbroken I think it’s enough. ( Enough… enough…!!!). Now, let’s start… I will share that there are disadvantages and advantages of having a foreigner boyfriend.




DISADVANTAGES AND ADVANTAGES:

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  • Cultural differences this can be a disadvantage and an advantage because it’s good that you can learn a new culture and you will more expose to it but sometimes there are couples that are having a conflict because of adapting of each others cultures.Be more optimistic to it because you are learning another culture and I think it’s a cool thing to do ( especially food you will discover new taste and special kind of foods )

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  • There is an instance that you can have  miscommunication because of languages ( Language Barrier ). There are times that learning another language and pronouncing the words properly is difficult. Learning each others language is fun and interesting because it can help you to communicate more to your partner’s relatives and friends.

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  •  Migrating to which country will stay ( if it’s her or his ). Who will migrate is you or your partner. There will be a lot of discussion to make and the decision making can be a headache. So the best thing is the both of you need to talk more about it and try to share their ideas about migrating.

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  •  This is the fear of all, being in Long Distance Relationship. Not being together. Miles and miles apart form each other. This can be hard. I know because I am in this situation but communication is the key. You need to communicate with each other just a simple or quick text to send to you partner is enough. Loyalty needs to be there,too. If you are in a relationship you are committed and it means it’s only your partner even you are two worlds apart.

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  • There are times that other people will think that you have partner that is a foreigner because of money or visa. Discrimination of other people is always there and present at all times. I experienced it and there are times that it was difficult to handle and I can’t hide my feelings. I don’t share it to him but he knows that I was hurt whenever other people are murmuring or gazing at us.



QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Love Ain’t Enough, Love Fades too

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If it’s about Love everyone is excited to hear and it’s a hot topic to discuss. There is a song that inspired me to write this post. It’s like we found love and we are happy with the relationship but why there are times it’s difficult to keep it? Love is a beautiful thing, until it fades away. From the lyrics of the song :

” But there’s a danger in loving somebody to much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

Why love fades? What happen to the relationship that once like a fairy tale and so perfect?

❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤

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There are some people that are not realistic when it comes to relationship or love. They expect it like fairy tales and romantic movies. There are some cases that when reality bites they will feel bad and disappointed about their relationship. The colorful and bright changes to dark and gloomy. In this cases, we need to grow up and don’t expect too much.Feeling appreciated and special play an important role in the relationship. In the beginning of the relationship everything is much appreciated but what happen when time flies? That’s why there are some couple feel that the relationship is not all worth it.

Why is it loving too much can ruin the relationship? It’s because we’re being possessive with our partner and we don’t trust them. When are in love you have to weigh in everything. How many percent? For yourself? For your partner? We shouldn’t give it all. It’s risky but you need to ask yourself if everything is worth the risk.

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They say that it’s better for the relationship when your partner is with you because the love will stay and won’t fade but I don’t believe in it. For me, there are some close distance that their love fades because of losing attraction to each other. There are times that we are too familiar with each other that’s why love fades. Familiarity can be the reason because we know our partner too much. Instead that we think of them as our partners it leads to friendship. The feeling is changing without any notice.

Arguments and misunderstandings like we all know is always there in the relationship but there are some relationship that I think they don’t know how to handle arguments and misunderstandings. Being honest about our feelings can sometimes too hard to say. When we get into the habit of swallowing our feelings and turning against our partner rather than stating how we feel, it’s not a good sign at all. Some people give up so easily because of this reason but it’s better to talk about it.

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If the one you love breaks your heart so badly that you feel bitter and unhappy and the trust that you had wasn’t there anymore we feel that we fall out of love for sure. Love and Trust  are needed in the relationship it won’t be a real relationship if there’s absence. Forgiveness can be given but to the fact that they hurt you love fades.
Yes, love becomes boring  and love does fade with time. Its law of nature. Everything fades. The roses that he gave you from the red petals to brown to black. The love letters that you keep the writings fade because you keep it for so long.  Everything is gonna end. So is love.
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So, if there’s a chance to stay together you need to find ways to keep your love alive. I know that you both know each other and how to hold on to the love and relationship that you have. Obstacles are the just tests for the both of you. If you give up easily it means that you don’t treasure each others love. Love ain’t enough and love fades but be strong and hold on.
❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤
QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Never love anybody who treats you like ordinary.”

– Oscar Wilde

He or She Cheats

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Adultery and Cheating are always in the relationship whether you’re married or just in a relationship. The most common reason : Spouses or partners cheat because of problems in relationship. Something is missing, love has faded, partners feel lonely or sad, a partner finds someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more. They are not happy with their current relationship so they find someone else that can make them happy. Another reason : there are people who ignores the true meaning of cheating and they keep on asking the question : Why is it difficult to be faithful in a relationship?

There are research that about 60% of spouses ( wives or husbands ) cheats during their marriage. There are lots of questions why they can’t be loyal to their spouses but how can they make a decision to cheat? Decisions are not so easy to say you have to think twice and deep to fully have it. In a relationship, making promises to be loyal to their spouse or partner , most people are serious in doing it and have intention of keeping their promises. In making decisions about love and not being loyal, reasons have a difficult time competing in controlling our emotions. Sometimes our emotions are influence by our behavior and lead us down to the way that it wasn’t suppose to be.

There are Types of Cheating like : Physical Cheating , the act of being sexually intimate with someone other than your spouse or partner. It is the most common among men and women but it can be view differently. Men view as depriving by force and a form of physical rejection. For women, may be more likely to see beyond the physical misjudgement if they perceive that emotions were not involved.The cheater feels emotionally connected to his partner and may only be seeking to fulfill a sexual fantasy. Emotional Cheating , may begin as friendship. An emotional cheater finds himself intimately confessing in the person, sharing thoughts, dreams and there’s an emotional closeness that would normally be reserved for his friend.  With emotional cheating, the cheater’s heart may no longer be in the relationship and the relationship was not progressing. Cyber Cheating , includes net pornography, online dating and flirting with other people on social networking sites. It is harder to catch than other forms of cheating. It requires the couple to have access to other’s computer passwords and to pay close attention to conversations each person is having on the Internet. Chexting ( Text Messaging Cheating ) , common to the high profile affairs of celebrities who were caught cheating via text messaging. According to Fox News, this is a new form of cheating because it supplies the physical proof of being unfaithful. It includes sending sexually explicit messages or pictures ,texting to arrange  dates and meeting in person . Even simple messages, such as asking how someone is doing, can be considered chexting if the intention of the person sending the text is to hook up with the recipient.

Last year, the site Ashley Madison revealed about husbands that are cheating to their wives and a lot of people panic because it was hacked. Once you cheat you may allow yourself to become distracted from your partner, and from what’s real and what’s important. In a world of where we’re loaded of  information, temptations and distractions are common. Lacking of communication with important things with your partner can driven you away from them.If one of you is a problem-focused rather than looking for solutions in the problem, you will feel worthless for a partner rather than compassion. This can lead someone to seek comfort from others.

NEXT TOPIC : Who Cheats most? Woman or Man?

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Cheating isn’t always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you have to delete text messages so your partner doesn’t see them, you’re already there.”

 

 

 

Do We Need A Second Chance?

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For me, I don’t really want to go to my past especially my exes it’s not worth it. Honestly, I can be friends with them but in a relationship is a big “NO” for me. Past is past and it will never be my Present and Future. Can love be sweeter the second time around?  As I was reading online in an article, it was written that 51% believe in it. They said that sometimes you end up a relationship wrongly. Reasons that are not supposed to be bothered about. Why do we need to take back our past relationship and start a new happy relationship with your ex?

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Feelings oh Feelings! If the sparks are still there but you can’t accept that you still want to be with that person.There are couples that they will have a sudden break up and waking up one day regretting everything. Just like Selena Gomez’s song : The Heart Wants What It Wants. If your heart is beating fast whenever you are with him/her it means that he/she is still special. Just remember that the love is still there between “US”.

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Building Trust is Important!  Since you will do a fresh start with him/her. You will build a new trust. But now take note that you will not give it all. The 100%. Leave something for yourself in case. When you get back together try to seek some advice from friends or family about starting your relationship with him/her.

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We Need to Change! Yes, it’s true. It’s not the past so you have to focus on the present that you are together. Try to communicate and talk every issues clearly. Learn to have limitations and set rules in your relationship. It’s different now. Change takes time and it won’t be easy  but you can do it step by step. If you are into arguments and misunderstandings, Sit Down…Listen… Talk.. Make Up…

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I’m doing HIS part, I’m doing MY part! This is important. If you both think that you are both giving importance. When you think the efforts that you did was all worth it for your new relationship. Why not give it another try?

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❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️

I know that it’s difficult to forgive and forget the past. We can move on and sometime comeback for a special reasons. If you think he/she is worth everything. You can start new love. Just take it slowly and surely.

❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️ \/\/ ❣️

QUOTE FOR THE DAY:

 ” Maybe sometimes Love needs a second chance because it wasn’t ready the first time around.”