Relationship : I’m in CONTROL

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When it comes to love and relationship some people are controlling the relationships so much that it can be hard to recognize them for what they are. There are some romantic movies and novels that are telling us that real relationships are all about obsession and that people who are truly in love have no boundaries or separate lives. Being manipulative or controlling the relationship aren’t real and true love. There are times that we thought having an abusive relationship is the only thing that matters but you don’t feel that being manipulative and controlling is a sign of unhealthy relationship.Most cases, it’s all about control and taking away your independence or freedom. Being controlled by your partner can damage to your self-esteem, make you fearful and having doubts about entering future relationships, and leave us emotional wounds that we shouldn’t have to deal with.

But there are plenty of relationships that are more one sided. A controlling man may be overprotective and to the point of unreasonable jealously or try keep a tight power with finances and be constantly telling his partner the right way to do things without ever really listening to their ideas. Early of the relationship both of you have the power or balance each others ideas. There are turning points that you won’t believe that your partner is already controlling you. How can you know that your partner is manipulative and controlling?

  • Disengage you from your family and friends – They don’t like your best friend and don’t think you should hang out with her anymore or they don’t want you to chit chat around with your family. They will try to turn you against anyone that you’re used to rely on for support. Their goal is to remove you off on your support network as well as your strength so that you will be less likely to stand up against them.

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  • Makes you feel guilty all the time – They are very skilled when it comes to this part. Your partner will let you feel the guilt whenever or whatever you are going to do with or without them. Your partner makes negative comments about your friends until you start to believe that the criticisms are true. Your partner will be a snob every time you go out with your friends, until you start not to accept their dinner invitations just to stop yourself from stress.

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  • Criticize you a lot of times – Some partners think it’s not such a big deal that he or she doesn’t like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn’t take it personally. They may consistently critique your decisions at work , the way you spend money , or your interests and hobbies in a way that sounds less like criticism.If every little thing you do could use improvement in your partner’s eyes, then how are you being valued as a true equal person?

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  • They don’t know the word TRUST – People who are deeply in love are allowed to have some privacy. And a partner who doesn’t  to acknowledge this isn’t being romantic at all. Your partner doesn’t have the right to check your email or messages, or have access to any of your  social media passwords, just because they say they’re scared that you might cheat, or because they will say that people who are in love don’t have secrets.  It’s a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and this shouldn’t be present within your relationship.

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  • Don’t want to hear your side – You are always interrupted in every conversations, or opinions you express have been  forgotten or never been acknowledged in the first place. Perhaps the conversation is always so ruled over by your partner that you can’t remember the last time they asked you a meaningful question about how you were doing and actually listened to your answer.

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  • Making you feel unworthy  – They are making you feel less attractive than they are. Even they try comparing you to their exes and sometimes their accomplishments when it comes to work, controlling people often want you to feel thankful that you are in a relationship with them. You will be more willing to work harder and harder to keep and to satisfy them. This is the goal of someone who wants to dominate a relationship.

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Not only me, it can be you but all of us can fall into a controlling relationship. Don’t feel stupid about it and don’t blame yourself for being with them. Controlling relationships sneak up on us, and we can’t see them for what they are until we’re with them and we know them truly. Always remember that if you are feeling that it’s wrong in the relationship you need to let it go and just be more positive with the next one.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.”

– Darlene Ouimet

” A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends. your dreams or dignity.”

– Mandy Hale

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Let It Pass By

I saw you from a far
and you can’t hide that scar
I know it’s killing you inside
When you and I can’t collide
I feel your pain
and all those chains
Stopping you to tell
All the stories that I wish I knew..

Sorry if I’d hurt you
Forgave me if I didn’t mind you
I just passed by you
And I can’t help you and it hurts me,too
You came up to me
And I ignored you
I guess I was too afraid…

Too afraid of what might had happen
I am  just protecting you
Coz I know they will hurt you
Someday you will know why?
But for now, please let it pass by…

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What Does?

What does it feel like to be lonely?
Like no friends, no enemies and no one in this world

What does it feel like to be empty?
No one to talk to and share secrets with

What does it feel like to be hurt?
Crying alone and feeling pain inside

 

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What does it feel like to run?
Running from the problems and anxiety that you are feeling

What does it feel like not to be with others?
Walking and hearing murmurs when passing by

What does it feel like to be YOU?
I know you are in pain and you need someone to be with.
I know you’re falling apart but just look at me ..
Tell me…
What’s on your mind?
and let me know…

Busy Mode ( Weekend Hangover Pt. 1 ) Late Post!!!

I was too busy last weekend… Booked… I still have a hangover with my weekend and it was a blast. Days are passing by and I still feel tired.  I will tell you about it…

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Saturday, March 25,2017

My friend and I went to an event. It was a meet and greet with Michelle Dy. She is a famous Youtuber and Make-up guru here in the Philippines. Honestly, I’ve known here because one of my friends let me checked her videos and since then I am enjoying watching her videos/vlogs. I like her because she very natural when vlogging meaning to say what you is what you get. I was so excited to meet and her and luckily I had a selfie with her and she is so beautiful.

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Ms. Michelle Dy

The event was held in URBN in Timog Avenue in Quezon city. It’s of the metro’s most distinguished lounges/nightclubs in Metro Manila.  Lining up outside the venue was so tiring and we were hungry,too. At last, we went in, the venue was full packed because there are a lot of people. I was so happy to see other vloggers,too. I already posted photos on my personal Instagram and Facebook account.

We went home past 6 o’clock in the evening. We really stayed and waited there so we can have photos with her. We were so happy after even if we were tired and hungry. Downside was we didn’t get any lootbags ( giveaways ). So sad. Well, that’s life.  Still it was great.

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Thank you. Mamshie Michelle… See you again on your next meet and greet! Lurve you ❤

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Please check her vlogs : Michelle Dy ( Youtube )




QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“The weekends are too short for sleep!”
― Bryant A. Loney, To Hear The Ocean Sigh

What’s on my Playlist ( MARCH EDITION ’17 )

Compilation

Hello Everyone! Thank you for reading and viewing my blog posts. I am so happy that there are still people reading and commenting when I am writing on my blog. I know that I am not really updating my blog lately but actually I am writing when I have time. And of course I haven’t posted Nigel’s first visit. Sorry about it! I am done in writing about it but I am too lazy to post it hahaha. My bad! I know. Well, I will do my best to post it before he arrive. My countdown is back again.




Well, this post pops out of my mind that I want to write about my playlist. I am a music lover and monthly I have my own playlist on my phone. I will list down below my playlist and you can comment if you like those songs and why do you like it? Here it goes…

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ROCKABYE ( Clear Bandit, Sean Paul and Anne-Marie )

I like this song because of the lyrics and the meaning of it. I think the one who writes it talks about a single mom. The struggles and the hardships in her life. Encouraging her son that she will take care of him whatever happen and she’s always there for him. The message of the song is emotional good thing they had the beat is kinda fast and it’s so catchy and you can sing and dance to it.

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SHOUT OUT TO MY EX ( Litte Mix )

Honestly, at first when I heard it, I am not a fan of it. I tried to check the music video and I keep on repeating it I am beginning to love it. I know that it’s more than a revenge song for your exes but it is based on experience of the songwriters. I heard that Perrie Edwards wrote this song  for Zayn Malik and on the first lines of the song it was so real. This a good moving on song for your douchebag ex and let him see that you’re happy without him.

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IT AIN’T ME ( Selena Gomez and Kygo )

When I saw this online I was curious about it and I like Selena Gomez and I am excited to hear about it. I like the beat of the song especially Kygo make the sound of it. I think the song is about a relationship that unfortunately broken and she was telling that she is not there anymore for him and she was reminiscing about the relationship.  I heard and read online that this song is for Justin Bieber but of course we’re are not sure of it. Anyways, the song is a positive party anthem you’ll definitely be dancing to. ( NOTE: Since this is just an audio and there’s no music video I’ll just post Kygo and Selena’s gif )

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PARIS ( The Chainsmokers )

Wow! I love the Chainsmokers. They are really good. Can I just say .. Andrew Taggart is HOT!!! Heavy breathing… Well, I actually can’t explain the lyrics of the song I think I can apply this to a relationship. I guess it’s like you’re proving to other people that your relationship is strong and get away to others and just have fun. I tried to search the real meaning of this song and I found a link which explains it all.CLICK ME.. SONG PROFESSOR

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STARVING ( Hailee Steinfield, Zedd and Grey )

It’s funny that this was released last year and I just love it like this year.. this month to be exact. The song is catchy and I love how Hailee sing the song it’s so perfect. For me, the song describes a new world to the a woman who like someone. What it feels like to be attracted to someone so deeply you feel like you’re losing control when they’re near. The song is sweet, catchy and just so adorable when you are listening to it. The way the instrument played.

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Thank you for reading. Please like and share your comments.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

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I worried too much….

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I admit that I am a worrier. I worry a lot that’s why I feel the stress more. I know that being a worrier is a big NO-NO. I just can’t help it. Nigel told me to relax and don’t think too much about problems because it won’t help me at all. While relaxing, I tried to find ways not to mind it.




 

1. Don’t Stress Yourself Too Much. – Stress is a word that a lot of people know and it is within you it will stay longer unless you leave it behind. Being stress can think your more negatively and can focus more on bad things. What you have to do is let loose of yourself. You can try to go for a walk, watch movies, write about something, eat out and have a good shower.

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2. Stop Being a Perfectionist. – Some of us are afraid to make mistakes.Your standards will be so high that you’ll also be dissatisfied with the result that other people would find acceptable. You won’t be contented with what you are doing at work or school.

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3. Focus. – Being focus with one thing at a time can help you stop worrying too much. You’re not thinking a lot. Your mind won’t be crowded. Too many thoughts can make yourself struggle on a daily basis.

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4. Talking to friends or relatives that close to you. – Talking can help you release the stress that you are in to. This is just a simple thing that other people can help you. Nobody can take away your worries but when others showing you that they care it means much.

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5. Fear Less – Too many questions on your mind can take over your life. The ” what if? ”  questions are not a good question for yourself. What you can do is try to visualize that the problem is finished. Then try to think of the positive result of the problem that you are thinking of.

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I know I make mistakes.. I am human … I am not perfect.. We all are…

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.”
– Mary Hemingway

Long Distance Relationship Will It Lasts?

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This modern world, many people are trying online-dating and many couples find themselves in long-distance relationships. But do they last? Being together with your partner is believed to help and maintain romantic relationships by giving people a chance to understand each other, and yet, some long distance relationships tend to last. Researchers suggest that one reason long distance relationships last is because they are likely to have the idea of having a romantic relationship with their partner or the tendency to describe their relationship in unrealistically positive terms.

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Couples that are in long distance relationships tend to look back about their relationship in a more positive way. Being positive in the relationship can lead them to believe they have a lot more in common, regardless of whether or not they really do. Partners in long distance relationship have the advantage of always showing most positive way possible in maintaining the idea of the relationship. In other words, people in long distance relationships rarely see all the daily ups and downs of their partner’s mood and attitude.

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There are times that when they close the distance there are some couples break up because they already know their partners personality. Distance can prevent partners from learning about each others negative qualities thus only creating an overly positive impression. The relationship may be happy and stable they are not together but in reality can become quite disappointing once back together.

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How can you make your long distance relationship last long? Some couples said that long distance relationship can last long by increasing the amount of communication. And this modern world, there are plenty of ways to increase it. Social media sites, messenger, text messaging, phone calls, and emails can supplement face-to-face communication. Others said that TRUST is also important in this relationship. Don’t give 100% you need to  And BEING COMMITTED is one of the reasons,too. Even though your partner is miles apart you are committed to your partner and you are not allowed to look for another partner because the reason is you miss your partner.

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GOOD COMMUNICATION with your partner is one of the key so your long distance relationship will last. Make sure to talk about everything, just as if you see your partner every day. When you are unable to close the distance yet, you and your partner need to develop other more creative and unique ways to become intimate with each other. Partners that take active and strive to get know each other will have a more realistic idea of their relationship, and will make their Long Distance Relationships Last.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”

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