Long Distance Relationship Will It Lasts?

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This modern world, many people are trying online-dating and many couples find themselves in long-distance relationships. But do they last? Being together with your partner is believed to help and maintain romantic relationships by giving people a chance to understand each other, and yet, some long distance relationships tend to last. Researchers suggest that one reason long distance relationships last is because they are likely to have the idea of having a romantic relationship with their partner or the tendency to describe their relationship in unrealistically positive terms.

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Couples that are in long distance relationships tend to look back about their relationship in a more positive way. Being positive in the relationship can lead them to believe they have a lot more in common, regardless of whether or not they really do. Partners in long distance relationship have the advantage of always showing most positive way possible in maintaining the idea of the relationship. In other words, people in long distance relationships rarely see all the daily ups and downs of their partner’s mood and attitude.

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There are times that when they close the distance there are some couples break up because they already know their partners personality. Distance can prevent partners from learning about each others negative qualities thus only creating an overly positive impression. The relationship may be happy and stable they are not together but in reality can become quite disappointing once back together.

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How can you make your long distance relationship last long? Some couples said that long distance relationship can last long by increasing the amount of communication. And this modern world, there are plenty of ways to increase it. Social media sites, messenger, text messaging, phone calls, and emails can supplement face-to-face communication. Others said that TRUST is also important in this relationship. Don’t give 100% you need to  And BEING COMMITTED is one of the reasons,too. Even though your partner is miles apart you are committed to your partner and you are not allowed to look for another partner because the reason is you miss your partner.

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GOOD COMMUNICATION with your partner is one of the key so your long distance relationship will last. Make sure to talk about everything, just as if you see your partner every day. When you are unable to close the distance yet, you and your partner need to develop other more creative and unique ways to become intimate with each other. Partners that take active and strive to get know each other will have a more realistic idea of their relationship, and will make their Long Distance Relationships Last.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”

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In a Relationship : Foreigner Boyfriend

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I am in a relationship and I am PROUD of it. My boyfriend is a foreigner and he is English. It’s just that there people who will judge why do you like foreigners. I know that there are people that can relate to me but there are some that feels envious about the relationship. I do feel bad whenever I hear people murmuring or gazing at us (especially me )  whenever we pass by them. I’ve experienced that when he was here for a vacation ( his first visit ). I know that you can’t stop other people from criticizing the relationship.

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Before I prefer to have a Filipino boyfriend because I know that there will be spark between us. After experiencing the heartbreaks I promise myself not to have another Filipino boyfriend. I don’t judge all of them but after the same reasons of having my heartbroken I think it’s enough. ( Enough… enough…!!!). Now, let’s start… I will share that there are disadvantages and advantages of having a foreigner boyfriend.




DISADVANTAGES AND ADVANTAGES:

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  • Cultural differences this can be a disadvantage and an advantage because it’s good that you can learn a new culture and you will more expose to it but sometimes there are couples that are having a conflict because of adapting of each others cultures.Be more optimistic to it because you are learning another culture and I think it’s a cool thing to do ( especially food you will discover new taste and special kind of foods )

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  • There is an instance that you can have  miscommunication because of languages ( Language Barrier ). There are times that learning another language and pronouncing the words properly is difficult. Learning each others language is fun and interesting because it can help you to communicate more to your partner’s relatives and friends.

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  •  Migrating to which country will stay ( if it’s her or his ). Who will migrate is you or your partner. There will be a lot of discussion to make and the decision making can be a headache. So the best thing is the both of you need to talk more about it and try to share their ideas about migrating.

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  •  This is the fear of all, being in Long Distance Relationship. Not being together. Miles and miles apart form each other. This can be hard. I know because I am in this situation but communication is the key. You need to communicate with each other just a simple or quick text to send to you partner is enough. Loyalty needs to be there,too. If you are in a relationship you are committed and it means it’s only your partner even you are two worlds apart.

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  • There are times that other people will think that you have partner that is a foreigner because of money or visa. Discrimination of other people is always there and present at all times. I experienced it and there are times that it was difficult to handle and I can’t hide my feelings. I don’t share it to him but he knows that I was hurt whenever other people are murmuring or gazing at us.



QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Love Ain’t Enough, Love Fades too

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If it’s about Love everyone is excited to hear and it’s a hot topic to discuss. There is a song that inspired me to write this post. It’s like we found love and we are happy with the relationship but why there are times it’s difficult to keep it? Love is a beautiful thing, until it fades away. From the lyrics of the song :

” But there’s a danger in loving somebody to much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

Why love fades? What happen to the relationship that once like a fairy tale and so perfect?

❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤

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There are some people that are not realistic when it comes to relationship or love. They expect it like fairy tales and romantic movies. There are some cases that when reality bites they will feel bad and disappointed about their relationship. The colorful and bright changes to dark and gloomy. In this cases, we need to grow up and don’t expect too much.Feeling appreciated and special play an important role in the relationship. In the beginning of the relationship everything is much appreciated but what happen when time flies? That’s why there are some couple feel that the relationship is not all worth it.

Why is it loving too much can ruin the relationship? It’s because we’re being possessive with our partner and we don’t trust them. When are in love you have to weigh in everything. How many percent? For yourself? For your partner? We shouldn’t give it all. It’s risky but you need to ask yourself if everything is worth the risk.

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They say that it’s better for the relationship when your partner is with you because the love will stay and won’t fade but I don’t believe in it. For me, there are some close distance that their love fades because of losing attraction to each other. There are times that we are too familiar with each other that’s why love fades. Familiarity can be the reason because we know our partner too much. Instead that we think of them as our partners it leads to friendship. The feeling is changing without any notice.

Arguments and misunderstandings like we all know is always there in the relationship but there are some relationship that I think they don’t know how to handle arguments and misunderstandings. Being honest about our feelings can sometimes too hard to say. When we get into the habit of swallowing our feelings and turning against our partner rather than stating how we feel, it’s not a good sign at all. Some people give up so easily because of this reason but it’s better to talk about it.

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If the one you love breaks your heart so badly that you feel bitter and unhappy and the trust that you had wasn’t there anymore we feel that we fall out of love for sure. Love and Trust  are needed in the relationship it won’t be a real relationship if there’s absence. Forgiveness can be given but to the fact that they hurt you love fades.
Yes, love becomes boring  and love does fade with time. Its law of nature. Everything fades. The roses that he gave you from the red petals to brown to black. The love letters that you keep the writings fade because you keep it for so long.  Everything is gonna end. So is love.
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So, if there’s a chance to stay together you need to find ways to keep your love alive. I know that you both know each other and how to hold on to the love and relationship that you have. Obstacles are the just tests for the both of you. If you give up easily it means that you don’t treasure each others love. Love ain’t enough and love fades but be strong and hold on.
❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤
QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Never love anybody who treats you like ordinary.”

– Oscar Wilde

Why CLOSURE hurts most?

 Last time I posted about : BREAK-UP

This is the second topic that I have in mind. This is short and very simple post but surely you can learn from it.

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What does CLOSURE really mean? Why it is hard to move on and leave the past behind? Why do still feel the pain after break up even you are in good terms? When you meet you think you already moved on but it’s not the what you think . There are times through help of friends and relatives you are picking up the pieces that had been shattered. But sometimes we can’t get over the past. There are times that we can’t understand ourselves why the other person leaves or cheats. And because we still love the person and we invested much on the relationship we can’t stop thinking them.

It’s so easy to say that you have move on but it’s not easy to do it. If you check the meaning of closure in the dictionary :  To attempt to ‘move on’ following the termination of a relationship with another individual. Do we really understand it? It’s really important to have closure because we can’t fully move on or accept that we are not in the relationship anymore. If there’s no closure we can’t commit, trust or be in a relationship for the next time. 

Closure fails because there are situations that they don’t fully understand it. Some people will break up and then make up so they can’t have the peace that they wanted. All of the situations can be harder to leave because of the reality of it all. Being together and staying is easy but you can’t feel any happiness when you are with them.

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 NEXT : HEALING

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

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Signs that you LDR is REAL

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I am in long distance relationship for more than a year now and this year is his first visit and first meeting. I have mixed emotions. I am happy, excited and nervous at the same time. There are a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I know that my relationship is still fresh not like others that’s been together for many years and years. How do we know if your long distance relationship is REAL? Below are the signs that long distance relationship is for REAL.

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  • DISTANCE Doesn’t Matter. – United Kingdom to Philippines. We are 6,000 miles apart. Distance is not the hindrance if you are both in love with each other. You both think that this is a just a test to you both and it can make your relationship stronger.

 

  • You’re both COMMITTED. – When you say you are in a relationship or committed to each other it means that it’s only between “me” and “you” or “us”. No other people are involve in your relationship.

 

  • MUTUAL feelings and love. – I know there are times that it’s difficult to be sure if your partner feels the same way as you are feeling. Be sensitive and be more observant with each other. You can really feel it if your feelings are mutual.

 

  • QUESTIONABLE future together. – If you are in a long distance relationship there should be plans in the future together especially on how you can both close the distance. Where to stay? What to do? When is the right time? If you think that you can’t see each others future it’s better to call it quits than to hope for nothing.

 

  • This relationship is not an ILLUSION. – Yes, this is really important. You really have to be sure that he or she is not just in your dream. You have to wake up and face the real world. Hey, It’s the REALITY!!!

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These are just few signs that I can share to everyone that are in a relationship especially in long distance relationship. I will be sharing more not only for long distance but also to close distance couples.

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Thanks for reading!

Closer I Get To You ( Feb Relationship Challenge )

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Every month in LDRBN we have a relationship challenge. Last month, Nigel and I participated but it took a long time for us to have plan a date for our Skype date. This month, I am participating again.

These are Rules:

  •   Purchase a small journal that you can keep thoughts in for 30 days.
  •   Decorate it up, if you feel so inclined!
  • At the end of every week, have a skype chat or session with your partner and share some of the things you’ve written down. There will be smiles all around, I promise. 🙂
  • After 30 days or so, share 2 or 3 of your favorite things written in the journal with us here in this thread.
  • Blog about the experience and if it helped bring you and your partner closer. (this could even be a series of blogs posts as the month goes along
  • BONUS: Force your partner to keep a journal too, so you both have something to share with each other.

My LDR Journal

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I have this for awhile I think I bought this last year and I want to give this to Nigel when he is here. I have somethings that I wrote in there. I will share it to you guys. Since Nigel doesn’t have a journal we make Couplete and Viber as our journal together.

Our Sharing Dates and Messages:

Nigel’s Messages / Notes :

Dee’s Messages / Notes :

 

His and Her Thoughts

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We like playing the game finish the sentence/s. Nigel is not sweet so I really want him to be open with his feelings and thru this game he is a different person. He is a type person who doesn’t like to write what he feels. He wants to say it without hesitation. It’s fun to bugged him with the relationship challenges because he doesn’t want to do it but he can’t say no but gives me limitations with it. It really helps me to know the sweet side of him even if he denies it.

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It’s different thing for me. Writing is not my thing when I express what I feel for her. I think it’s better to say it than write it down. It will take a long time for me to write down things. She is the only woman that lets me out of my comfort zone.  It feels weird, I guess. It doesn’t mean that I say those words it means I am sweet. I say what’s on my mind and my heart. My feelings for her.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Sometimes the greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in. The ones that sweep you off your feet and challenge every view you’ve ever had.”

Visiting Day : First Meeting

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I am so happy that I can post on this blog prompt now. This is just the first part of my posts and the rest will be soon. Good thing that I read the comments and it’s fine to share about the plans for the first visit.

We all know that there are lots of negative comments about long distance relationship. Some people tend to break you apart and will not support you. It seems that your both worlds are not good and sometimes you want to give up because the distance, time, trust and etc., are the biggest issues. We’ve been waiting for the right person to come in our life but that person is too far from you like miles away from you . There are times you have to give up something for your special someone. These are the negative sides in a long distance relationship. We are one of those couples that wants to see each other personally and to be with them. Planning for the right time, month and day to be with your partner and make happy memories together.

Today, I received good news from Nigel and he told me that he already booked a flight going to the Philippines. I still can’t believe it when I checked my Viber messages so earlier I cried when I read it. At long last he will be here and we will see each other for real. He will visit me on September this year and he said he will leave before 10PM on Saturday and he will arrive past 10PM in here on Sunday. He will have a stopover in Dubai and he will have a 17 hours flight from Gatwick Airport to the Manila, Philippines. That’s a very long time staying in the plane. He will stay here for three weeks. I do feel that this will be the best year for us.

On this post I will share what’s our plan for his visit here. Nigel is excited to be here but he is not too showy about his feelings. I asked him if he wants to travel  and he said its fine with him. We are looking for the places where to go when he gets here. Some of my friends recommended where to visit in here. Here are the things that we plan.

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We plan to go to Boracay Island. This is famous for tourist because the beach and view is nice. Boracay Island is located in Visayas region. By plane, it will be 50 minutes Manila airport to Caticlan aiport and going to the island by boat it will take 20-30 minutes. I told him that my friend recommended a hotel if we go there. We can do a lot of things besides swimming. We can do island hopping, snorkelling, parasailing and ride a banana boat. Mostly the foods in there are seafoods. Lastly, if you like to party Boracay has the best party night outs for everyone.

Here is the insight of Boracay

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Going to Iloilo (my birthplace). By bus, it will take 5 hours to get to Iloilo city. I tried to look for a hotel where to stay and I have one in mind (Injap hotel). I choose this because it’s affordable and it’s accessible to every place. It is in front of a mall, too. I do hope that I can visit my Aunt’s grave this time and meet some of my cousins and friends. I’ll let him eat the famous specialty in Iloilo (Batchoy) it is a noodle soup. Here is the insight of Iloilo.

Here is the insight of Iloilo City

Going to El Nido, Palawan. We are still thinking in going in here we need to check his schedules and time first. My friend told me to bring Nigel in here because it is famous to Foreigners and it’s very beautiful in here. Going there first you have to take by plane from Manila to Puerto Princesa. If you want to go to El Nido you have to take a mini jeep and it takes about 5 hours to get there. Don’t worry you won’t feel bored because the sights are great.

Here is the insight of El Nido, Palawan :

 

Meeting my Friends and Relatives. This is important to me before we travel. I mentioned it to him that I want him to meet my closest friends and relatives. He agreed to it. Nigel is not sociable so I will just meet the closest to me. He is not a celebrity but for some of my friends he is.

Trying and Eating Filipino Foods. I promise to cook for him when he is here. The first thing that he needs to eat is “Balut” It is a developing duck embryo (fertilized duck egg) that is boiled and eaten in the shell. He doesn’t want to eat it but he has no choice. (Evil laugh!!!). There will be more food to try on when he is here. If you are curious about our food I will link it here so you can check it out.

These are just the things that we plan. We aren’t sure yet about it maybe we will change our mind. I am hoping not. First visit is so special. I will surely take photos and videos and post it on my Instagram or Facebook account.

Thank you for reading. Much love to all of you.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“No matter how busy a person’s day might be. If they really care, they’ll always find a time for you.”

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This blog post was inspired by LDRBN’s blogging prompt : VISITS

If you interested and want to join LDRBN visit our site : JOIN IN write DEE as your referrer.

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