What Does?

What does it feel like to be lonely?
Like no friends, no enemies and no one in this world

What does it feel like to be empty?
No one to talk to and share secrets with

What does it feel like to be hurt?
Crying alone and feeling pain inside

 

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What does it feel like to run?
Running from the problems and anxiety that you are feeling

What does it feel like not to be with others?
Walking and hearing murmurs when passing by

What does it feel like to be YOU?
I know you are in pain and you need someone to be with.
I know you’re falling apart but just look at me ..
Tell me…
What’s on your mind?
and let me know…

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Sadness in Me

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I tried to hide this pain

I want to be quiet but I can’t

Why do I have to know about it?

I can’t explain

All I want to do is cry

The sadness in me is getting stronger

I do trust you

You know how much I love you

I know she’s your past

But why it hurts me deep inside

The sadness in me is not getting better

Tears are still running down and I can’t stop

I think it’s better to spend sometime alone

Than be with you and in pain

Guilty As A Cheater

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I am guilty

Oh, yes I am

I tried to hold on us

But the knot that we have loose it’s thread

The bond cuts off on it’s own

You were out sight for a moment

And he was there with me all the time

The emptiness that I am feeling

He was there to fill it up

I feel sorry for this betrayal

Forgiveness is what I ask

I know it’s difficult to give

But I hope someday wound heals

I admit that I am a cheater

Cheating is what I did

I never thought that I can do it

Conscience is killing me now

The trust that you gave me is now broken

The pieces that can’t be whole again

The vow that said in the altar

Are now memories in the past

Sorry for being a cheater

I am sorry for not staying with you forever

And I know it isn’t fair

 

Longing for…

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Pretending not to care

Hiding the pain and the glare

Sorry for not minding you

I hope that you knew

Wish I can tell you everything

But I know we are just a fling

Why can’t you love me just like you love her?

Is it too much to ask if we were?

Why can’t you leave her?

Is she always there?

I see you crying and begging

And you know that she is just pretending

I feel your pain right now

Because it’s what I am feeling somehow

I amĀ  just here for you

Waiting until the time is through

Just promise me one thing

Forget memories of her

And start new memories

Of Me and You.

“ME” or “US”

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Why do I feel so alone even when I am with you?

I can’t understand and no clue

Why do I feel sad if you’re here?

These are the moments that I can’t bare

Very anxious about my feelings

It’s seems in the beginning

You tried to reach out to me

But I am frozen in here

Is there an US or just ME?

Because our feelings just flee

I’m sorry for not being honest

And I know I am not the strongest

This relationship is only ME

Never “US” and it’s too hard to plea.

A Story of A Girl

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This is a story of a girl

That make your life swirl

I will tell you her story

And this is a mandatory

Do you think I am happy?

But look into my eyes because I am unhappy

Teary eyes outside

And can’t seem to hide

Suddenly I ran so fast

When I return I am an outcast

Staring at me like It’s my fault

I wish I am struck with a thunderbolt.

Every time I walk on this corridor

It’s like I am in a horror

I wish they will stop

Calling me names and writing it down on the tree top

They said they are my friends

And the people that I can depend

I was so wrong

And I can’t be strong

Putting my pictures on the wall

And making me like their doll

Ripped inside

Slowly I begin to cry

I want to leave thisĀ  town

Because I am not their clown

They are every where

And they make me scare

One day I stay in my room

Sprayed my favorite perfume

I am sorry if I have to do this

This is going to be the finale and I hope you won’t miss.

Screaming Memories

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There are memories that you can’t forget

Because it is like a threat

You want to move on

But the feelings is like you once drawn

I just can’t help to scream

Every time I wake up in this dark dream

Half of myself wants this to stop

And half is turning like a crop

Screaming memories that I have inside me

I want to let this feelings to be free

Why can’t this memory of you fade?

All this time you just played

These memories from you I need to throw now

In this dark and deep lough

I let myself scream

Because I know deep inside these are all scheme.